Toxic Relationships: A Rollercoaster of Pain & Pleasure
Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationship, a term overused and sometimes misinterpreted especially nowadays. So how can we define it and get to understand its signs?
Firstly, we have to understand that such kinds of relationships are not limited to romance, but they also exist among friends, families, and in the workplace. What are the red flags you should notice when you're in a toxic relationship and how should you deal with a toxic person?
The deep roots of the upbringing, and the relationship with our caregivers is simply related to the attachment we've built with them and how healthy and secure it was, directly affecting traits. If you've had an abusive or neglectful parent, this will become the "norm" and leave an imprint on your future relationships, on the contrary, if you were brought up in a validating, loving, and accepting environment this will grow with you. Our brain circuits develop a kind of addiction to the highs and lows, sending us triggers to make us feel as if we're going through a pleasurable experience, releasing dopamine and making us wait for this cycle to happen again and even crave it.
Toxic relationships are certainly challenging and can cause significant harm to both parties involved, making us feel trapped, unhappy, and even traumatized. Its signs can be difficult to recognize, as they might start out feeling positive, but over time, certain behaviors and patterns emerge that can indicate a deeper issue. Here are some signs of a toxic relationship: Lack of trust, controlling behavior, emotional manipulation, verbal and physical abuse, dishonesty, and lack of self-care.
Trust and respect are foundational aspects of any healthy relationship whether romantic or platonic, whenever they're missing this can lead to constant jealousy and suspicion. Furthermore, it involves one person trying to control the other, either through manipulative tactics or by restricting the others' freedom whether it's emotional or even financial. This can also include insults, name-calling, gaslighting, or using belittling approaches that make the other partner feel like they are walking on eggshells around the manipulator.
After all, this is built over a long period of time, here comes the extreme form of toxicity which is physical violence, and it should never be tolerated as it could lead to unending trauma. Here you might ask so how could I deal with a toxic person? Let me summarize it in one word, boundaries! Yes, this might be challenging, however, establishing boundaries is crucial so you have to let them know what behaviors are unacceptable and stick to them. Furthermore, communication is key when dealing with a toxic person, be clear and try to avoid getting defensive, rather rational and focused on facts. Lastly, and most importantly self-care, when you get to care for and love the person you are, everything will follow. So, make sure to take time for yourself, and surround yourself with positive people who support you. Stop playing the victim part, get off that roller-coaster, and always remember to B Confident.
